MUSIC: (Short sequence of musical beeps) (Pacey baseline) (Two-step drum beat)

Talia Randall:

Alright, welcome to Cassette Tape Radio, I’m your host Talia Randall, how you doing?

Cassette Tape Radio is a mixtape style podcast. Its eclectic, each week is totally different to the next; its an experiment basically. It’s a chance for me to put some ideas out there, have some conversations with you and be weird

This episode is properly weird. If you follow me on twitter you’ll know that I sometimes tweet my dreams. Like the time I dreamt that Mel Gibson was trying to keep me in a windowless room and play Super Mario with me. Or the time when I dreamt that I gave birth to a baby made of paper clips. Every night it is like a wilderness inside of my sleeping brain and this what this episode is about.

So what you’re about to hear is a list basically of 29 dreams set to a spooky soundscape by Jamie Payne, as ever our audio and musical maestro. Enjoy


MUSIC: Eerie soundscape plays throughout high-pitched violins, a low level rolling beat and moments

I dreamt that my body was made up of hundreds of sandwich bags filled with water

I dreamt a small frog controlled my body temperature

I dreamt that monks were pouring coffee all over the living room carpets

I dreamt I had a mini champagne bottle and every bubble released a tiny spider. I called them creepers and they chased me through the kitchen.

I dreamt about a fat sheep who got run over by a van outside my old school.

I dreamt my home was an investment bank. I kept trying to have a shower but blond men with names like Hugo kept following me.

I dreamt I pronounced every instance of the letter ‘o’ as ‘au’

I dreamt I bought an accordion-sampler hybrid that also amplified my heartbeat and synched it to whatever music I was listening to.

I dreamt that a street fundraiser called me Sir and then cried.

I dreamt I was in a police station that was also a field that was also my Dr’s surgery circa 1992.

I dreamt that posh people stole my leg warmers to play cricket with.

I dreamt Mel Gibson was trying to play Super Mario with me in a windowless room.

I dreamt I met a man who called his bum hole Barbara

I dreamt I gave birth a baby made of paper clips.

I dreamt I met a man called teapot Charlie.

I dreamt I was going garage raving with Stephen Fry.

I dreamt that my neighbours vest came to life and started cussing me. ‘WANKA!’ It shouted.

I dreamt that Gregg Wallace was giving me a lecture in ‘how to safely practice indoor hip hop’.

I dreamt I met a man with a Vulva on his neck.

I dreamt I was deep frying dumplings in my bathtub. Then I turned into a cartoon dog

I dreamt that my pregnant friend’s baby was pregnant with another baby.

I dreamt that eggs were the real enemy

Eggs. Egg Wallace.

I dreamt that the only way to drink water was to run the tap on your sleeve and suck the liquid out.

I dreamt that all my ideas turned into biros. There were spilling out of my bedside drawers and I was embarrassed because they were so messy.

I dreamt that a hologram of Jim Davidson was chasing me around Blackpool

I dreamt that Faith Evans and Miranda Hart were running a Jacuzzi Club in my old school for the popular kids.

Just for the popular kids.

I dreamt that Waitrose was releasing a mixtape

I dreamt about a man called little Harvey pesto.

I dreamt that my clothes melted into yoghurt as I was trying to hang them on the washing line


There you go, a little insight into my brain. You are very welcome babes. I don’t know if you can hear it but there’s a rubbish truck outside, you may have heard it in the intro. We are in a little home studio set up so sometimes there is spillover noise, but also big up to the bin truck people and all our frontline workers. Why aren’t we paying them proper wages?

Anyway, carry on listening, tune in next time. Its gonna be another very different episode, like I said, its eclectic, its like you know changing the channels. I’m gonna stop talking now before I really embarrass myself and sound like your drunk auntie at your nieces birthday. Laters.