(Garage tune….)
(Short sequence of musical beeps)
(Pacey baseline)
(Two-step drum beat)
Singing:
(Cassette Tape Radio)
(Cassette Tape Radio)
(Cassette Tape Radio)
Talia Randall: Alright babes? Welcome to episode four of Cassette Tape Radio. I hope you’re well.
Wild times at the moment. I’m not even gonna talk about any of that because I don’t know if I have the mental capability to.
So instead I’m gonna dive straight into the surrealism of my own mind. That’s why you’re here right?
Anyway today’s episode is about dreams. I actually think it’s quite interesting though; coz when people talk about their dreams it can be the most boring chat ever. But I actually think I have quite interesting dreams. Let me just give you some quick examples:
I dreamt recently that dinosaurs had come back but they had all turned into ham sandwiches. I don’t know if that’s cool or not.
I dreamt that I was living inside of a prune. Which actually sounds alright, especially considering the lockdown situation we’re in, I’ll take a prune.
I dreamt that I met a man who called his bum hole Barbara. That was a great dream, he was amazing.
Horrible dream coming up. I dreamt that me body was made up of hundreds of sandwich bags filled with water. That was nasty.
I dreamt recently that Jamie Payne – say hi Jamie
Jamie (in the background): Hello
Talia: – I dreamt that you had turned into a goldfish. Did I tell you about that dream?
Jamie (in the background): That was real life
Talia: It was real life. He was in a little plastic cup of water. He didn’t even a bowl, or a tank or anything.
Jamie (in the background): I’m a wizard.
Talia: He’s a wizard. That’s what people call him.
Um I also dreamt that my clothes melted into yoghurt as I was hanging them on the washing line. That was quite distressing actually, especially as I don’t have a washing line. And actually Jamie does all the laundry, not me.
Jamie (in the background): Woop woop.
Talia: Thanks Jay. Anyway, some examples but the rest of the episode is dedicated to one dream.
It’s about three to four minutes long. I dreamt that I had written a rap about fax machines and when I woke up I thought:hey do you know what they people need. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE PEOPLE NEED?!
They need to hear this rap about fax machines. The music is written by Jamie Payne as usual. I think it’s his best song yet. No offence to everything you’ve done up until this moment in your life.
Jamie (in the background): I agree. Oh – in my life?
Talia: Yeah
Jamie (in the background): No
Talia: Well anyway we’ll deal with that between us Jamie.
Yeah its definitely got the vibe of like, a sort of old school electro pop 80s vibe, rare groove in there. It’s sick, obviously. I’m amazing, Jamie’s amazing, so are you. Listen to it; let me know what you think.
Like and subscribe to this podcast, if you want. And I love ya and I’ll see you, speak to you after the track.
***
FAX ME UP
(tight rhythm synth + 4/4 funk beat on 80s style drum machine)
(fax machine noise – sounds like internet dial up tone)
I wanna, I wanna wanna fax you.
I wanna, I wanna wanna fax you.
(bendy synth)
Baby relax, fax to the max.
(climbing chords in a 1980s electro pop synth style + fax machine noise)
What’s your number? What’s your name?
Push my buttons and scan my page.
Lets make a date, to modulate.
Fax me up I’m not engaged.
(rhythm guitar)
Speak to me in audio frequency
tones. Screech on the telephone.
Indecency. Facsimile.
I know you’re into me.
(bendy syhth)
A transmission, a bitmap frisson.
Telecopy the words that are written.
Don’t care if its analogue or digital system,
fax me into submission.
Fax me into submission.
I’m open to all transcriptions
Fax me fax me fax
into submission
(climbing chords in a 1980s electro pop synth style)
Beep beep screech as we drink some wine.
Beep beep screech on the telephone line.
Beep beep screech so erotic
Telephonic, know you want it
Beep beep screech as we drink some wine.
Beep beep screech on the telephone line.
Beep beep screech so erotic
Telephonic, tell me that you want it
(rhythm guitar + bendy syhth)
Lets get intimate lets inter
face. Lets share some affection.
Dial me up make a connection.
Far or near we’ve got a system.
(rhythm guitar)
No matter what the geography
We got Long Distance
Xerography. Yes we do.
(rhythmic clapping)
Bitmap. Bum slap.
Double stuffed like Big Mac.
Woo!
Bitmap. Rearrange me Syntax
Make me sing like the noise of a Telefax.
(autotune kicks in on the vocal)
Make me sing like
those annoying
noises when you call a fax
number by mistake.
Beep beep screech me
I’d be delighted,
if you give me sweet tinnitus.
(climbing chords in a 1980s electro pop synth style)
Yeah yeah beep beep screech me
beep beep beep screech me
all night long,
baby.
I wanna, I wanna wanna fax you.
I wanna, I wanna wanna fax you.
Do you wanna fax me too?
Baby relax lets fax to the max.
(climbing chords in a 1980s electro pop synth style)
Beep beep screech as we drink some wine.
Beep beep screech on the telephone line.
Beep beep screech so erotic
Telephonic. know you want it
Beep beep screech as we drink some wine.
Beep beep beep beep screech on the telephone line.
Beep beep beep beep screech so erotic
Telephonic, tell me that you want it
As we drink some vino
(wild distorted guitar solo)
Woo!
***
There we have it, Fax Me Up. Hope you enjoyed. Hope it bought you a little dose of silly humour to your day. That’s it, anything else left to say? Jamie anything you wanna say?
Jamie (in the background): inaudible
Talia: yeah didn’t think so, oh yeah leave a review. Ah you were so earnest as well I’m really sorry for cutting you off Jay.
Jamie (in the background): That’s what you get for being a hard worker, an honest hard worker
Talia: Well that took a turn, I wasn’t expecting that. Alright, see you next time I guess. I don’t know if Jamie is still gonna be hear. But he can’t go anywhere else right now so, see ya love ya. Say bye Jamie
Jamie (in the background): See ya
Talia: bye
-end-
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