(Garage tune….)

(Short sequence of musical beeps)

(Pacey baseline)

(Two-step drum beat)

 Singing:

(Cassette Tape Radio)

(Cassette Tape Radio)

(Cassette Tape Radio)

(Jingle fades)

Talia: Welcome to episode 2 of Cassette Tape Radio, how you doin? We’re recording this before the first episode has been released. I have no idea if anyone has heard the episode, if anyone likes it – are you enjoying it? I mean

(sings:) validate me, validate me-eeeee, validate meeeeee.

I just wrote a song for you now just pfft, just bosh.

In the corner Jamie Payne is creeping around like dusting things? I don’t know what he’s trying to do. Oh he’s tryna stop my headphone lead from banging on something so round of applause for Jamie Payne! This is when you insert crowd noise Jamie.

(sound of applause)

Why are we here? Cassette Tape Radio, that’s why you’re here…hopefully. By this point if you’ve listened to episode 1 you’ll know that I’m still testing out a catchphrase. Currently the only contender for catchphrase I have is ‘Carry on Listening’ which I think is…not great. But it might work, it might stick.

So by this point I’ve probably done a poll on twitter or instagram to ask you if you can come up with a better catchphrase. Coz I’m not saying I’m always gonna have the best ideas gang, you know you might need to help me, complete me (sings:) validate me, validate me-eeeee.

Anyway, today’s episode is called ‘ElectroKrud’, Krud spelt with a K, ElectroKrud – one word for those of you who care about spelling. And it’s an introduction to a brand new musical genre that I’ve invented.

Big shout out to Jemima Foxtrot who is a poet. I went to a workshop that Jemima was doing recently and she asked us to invent a musical genre. That’s where ElectroKrud was born. Jemima apologies in advance if this is not what you anticipated um… its weird. But in all seriousness check out Jemima’s work, she’s a great poet.

And, um yeah, there’s not really much you need to know more about ElectroKrud other than the fact that hopefully its really gonna take off on the underground music scene, fingers crossed for that.

The music is written by Jamie Payne, the words are by me Talia Randall. And enjoy, brace, buckle up, buckle in, brace yourselves. Here we go.

***

(Bongo beat)

(Medieval lute)

ElectroKrud, a new musical genre

(Sings in autotune: ElectroKrud)

Imagine that the entire youth population of the Home Counties are all on acid and all of them are sharing one cigarette, in a yurt on the Sunday morning of a festival.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroKrud)

One of them is playing the recording of a lute on their phone.

(Twanging lute)

But the phone has been dropped in water and then dipped in rice so the lute has this fuzzy, buzzy quality to it.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroBuzz)

(Buzzy guitar)

In the corner a boy called Hugo, or Edgar, or Xander is beatboxing but gurning at the same time

(Spitty beatboxing)

So much so that his mouth sounds like a broken didgeridoo.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroBruv)

An old man in a crochet bucket hat complains that the festival isn’t as good as it used to be

(Folk violin)

(Sings in autotune: ElectroDud)

A young woman finds a baggy of mystery powder and hallucinates a wale emerging from her boyfriend’s nostril

(Sings in autotune: ElectroHug)

A once famous DJ whips out a fisher price keyboard

(Toy keyboard plays a simple melody)

And treats everyone to original unreleased material from the album that was dropped by the label.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroMug)

The queue for the compost toilets extends far beyond the festival site, far beyond the manicured country lanes and into the neighbouring village populated by ex-tory ministers with not so secret cocaine habits.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroGov)

(Tambourine)

(Bongo beat)

(Medieval lute)

At the protest tent there is a workshop in potato print banner making!

(Sings in autotune: ElectroSpud)

(Banjo riff)

And finally, the collective comedown of thousands of people reaches a teary crescendo at the headline act. British Summer pours down to ebay anoraks and salty glitter churns into the soil.

(Sings in autotune: ElectroMud)

(Succession of hard punchy beats building up to a drum n bass drop)

Creepy creepy crawlies – ElectroBug

Sweeping under carpets – ElectroRug

Barking through my nostrils – ElectroPug

Drink it all in – ElectroGlug

Chewing up my lyric – ElectroCud (moo!)

Proper naughty geezer – ElectroStud

Self pleasuring (ooo) – ElectroTug

Unity, all together! – ElectroLuv

luv luv                         luv       luv luv luv luvluvluvluv luvluv                       luv

luv                                                                   luv luv luvluv

(Dubstep wobble)

(Distorted guitar solo + Drum n bass beat)

luv luv                         luv       luv luv luv luvluvluvluv luvluv                       luv

luv                                                                   luv luv luvluv

(Seagull noises)

***

There we go! ElectroKrud.

Do you recognize yourself in any of that? I know that I did. Tag yourselves if you do recognize yourself. I think that I am probably in the ElectroSpud moment; I know I’ve been there before.

It pains me to admit it but I’ve probably been a Hugo before gurning and beatboxing in the corner. Maybe you recognize yourself in the seagulls at the end of the track? Who knows? Let me know.

Hopefully this wont be the last ElectroKrud song. Maybe the genre will take over, it might even reach out into the mainstream and by 2021 we’ll all be there in the ElectroKrud arena headlining Glastonbury. We don’t know what the future holds, fingers crossed.

That’s it really for this week’s episode. Obviously ElectroKrud is quite an intense movement so you only want it in like short, sharp bursts.

The only other thing to say is like, subscribe, do all of that (sings) validation stuff for mee-eeee.

Yeah, because obviously the more you leave nice reviews and subscribe the more other people know about it basically. So do your thing, send it to people if you think they’re gonna like it.

Jamie is there anything else I haven’t said that I need to say?

Jamie (in the background): I wasn’t really listening

Talia: he wasn’t really listening so Carry on Listening obviously isn’t working as a catchphrase. So what should it be? Maybe the catchphrase should be ‘Jamie can you listen while you record please’. Oh he’s got his hand up, what do you wanna say.

Jamie (in the background): I think you should call it… I think the catchphrase should be

Talia: yeah what should the catchphrase be Jamie?

Jamie (in the background): … listen …

Talia: yeah listen?

Jamie (in the background):

Talia: this is where you insert the noise of tumbleweed

(Tumbleweed)

-end-